Monday, April 20, 2009

Tracing the Fine Line

There's a fine line between being cautious and being paranoid. I'm not sure where that line is.

Back in December, I *thought* I saw Rachael have a few twitches a la IS. I took her to Doc, who ordered us up an EEG. It was normal. She stopped twitching. Life was good.

She's now nodding her head. Not often, not clustered. But disturbing. She's hit her head on table, etc a couple of times while doing it. My husband has noticed it too.

I feel lost. Do "normal" kids do stuff like that? She seems fine otherwise, there's no regression, her eyes are bright and clear. She's hitting her milestones, although she seems to "forget" that she knows how to roll over.

I'm torn between worried that I'm being paranoid and risking becoming that annoying parent that's convinced something's wrong with her kid (when nothing is), and being too dismissive and regretting not seeking help sooner. I keep praying that either the nods stop (best case), or something happens that clearly indicates that I need to seek help. I don't want to see her little brain get eroded away by those damn seizures.

What does that mean if I do in fact have a second child with IS? Is it us? Our genetics? Our home? I was very convinced for a long time that Abby developing such a devastating condition was punishment. What does two kids mean?

I just watch, and wait, and worry. And pray like mad.

1 comment:

  1. Oh sweetie...I think it's completely normal to have these kinda fears! I don't know...because Trev is my 3rd (otherwise known as LAST!). Buuuut...I know other parents who saw things in their next child and were convinced it was IS. IS changes us SO dramatically...that there is no going back to not being paranoid.

    If the head nodding know you need to ask for another EEG. And you know's okay if it's normal! It's okay if it takes the next four years of normal EEGs until your heart is at peace!

    In the meantime...I'll be hoping & praying that you're just a SUPER DUPER paranoid mommy!